It’s past 10.30pm. I can only take my blood pressure medication – 500mg Hypotone, a magical yellow disc that fixes almost everything – at 11.30, so I need to stay awake until then. That’s perhaps just as well; I’ve slept a lot today – a response, possibly, to the relief about yesterday’s uric acid levels and the drowsiness caused by the increased medication. I managed to get some work done on a shower gel overview, but I can’t claim to have been especially productive.
Cherries, my husband and my mother have determined, can reduce uric acid levels. There are none in season, so I’m eating tinned cherries until they’re coming out of my ears. I open the tin and rinse out the syrup, then scoop them out with a plastic spoon that came in my Netcare baby goodie bag (along with bum cream and baby shampoo). In the absence of being able to take anything – blood pressure can be treated with medication, but not uric acid – the cherries have taken on a magical quality. Edible amulets, if you like.
To pass the time this evening, I have been painting. Earlier this week, I painted a commission for a client’s birthday, so I have my lipsticks with me. Tonight I used them to paint a portrait based on one of the 4D scans from Tuesday. It took me ages and ages of fiddling, trying to get every line exactly right.
I create a patch of colour, then rub at it with one of my makeup wipes, then replace the colour, then rub. It is a slow, iterative process. The slightest mark changes everything. Around her face, I wrote a message reminding her that I’d like her to stay exactly where she is right now. There are butterflies, a bateleur eagle and a couple of tiny galloping horses.
Tomorrow morning, early, someone will come to take blood. I hope the results are good. To our dearest little elf: all I want is to give you the best possible start in life. The thought that I might not be able to is what makes this so hard.
Here’s holding thumbs.