Having a baby, I’ve discovered, is a lot like falling in love. Other parents told me about the intense love you feel for your children, but I couldn’t imagine it. Until now. Now, I miss Raphaela when I’m not with her. I think of her constantly. I imagine what she’s doing just at that moment. I long for her in the way that a soul longs for a missing piece of itself.
She doesn’t have to do anything beyond eating and sleeping (and since she’s fed by a tube so she can do both at the same time). She simply has to be. On those brief occasions when she opens her eyes I marvel.
When I first saw her in the incubator, I was struck by how alien she seemed, a tiny sea creature in another world. Her fingers waved like tentacles in an aquarium. Now she is more like a person. She is still very small but she’s growing into herself. Already she is 1.47kg and over 40cm – a big change from the 26cm she measured at birth.
I can’t wait to see what she becomes, and I am going to love watching her as she grows.