A Whole New Juggling Act


Three weeks ago, I dreaded the idea of going back to work.

A week and a half ago, I’d reconciled myself to the inevitable.

Six days ago, I was looking forward to it.

Today, five days in, I’m managing – just.


This is a whole new juggling act. I’m loving being back in the energy of an office, having face to face conversations, and getting stuck into new projects. I really do get a kick out of the work I do, and I like the people I work with. I didn’t realise how much I had missed it until I was back in the thick of it.


Screen Shot 2016-07-08 at 4.29.48 PM
Baby and laptop

Ra-Ra is a different story. On Monday, while I was reconnecting with my colleagues and sitting in meetings, she was dealing with the trauma of not having Boob at her beck and call. On Tuesday, my mother described feeds involving flailing limbs, spitting, head butting and screaming. “If she could have sworn at me, she would have,” she said. On Wednesday, I ducked home in between meetings to feed her, and on Thursday I did the same. I took a lunch break, something I almost never do – not for me, but for her.


The trouble is that Ra-Ra has decided that she no longer likes feeding from a bottle. In fact, she hates it. My mother is finding it hard work to keep her entertained long enough to distract her from the fact that Boob is not around. Yesterday, I had to feed her after dropping her off because she started protesting before I could leave; then I popped back to top her up at lunchtime, and then again after work. Today, I got a frantic call from my parents while in a meeting that ran over time, begging me to come and feed the baby. Luckily I was able to duck quite quickly, but I won’t always have that option.
So I have something of a problem. As long as my baby hates feeding from a bottle, my life is going to revolve around breast feeding – something that is not entirely compatible with working in an office. This means limiting meetings, especially if they’re far away; I’m very lucky that my office is a six-minute drive from my parents’ home. All-day workshops? Working late? Travelling? Forget it.


I don’t know how long this hatred of the bottle will last. I’m very happy to be back at work – but I will admit that I’m worried that I’m going to drop some balls.

2 thoughts on “A Whole New Juggling Act

  1. I also really struggled. I loved being back at work, but also had a hard time finding a balance that would work for me. (http://www.borngeek.co.za/2016/03/15/on-balancing-work-and-mothering-two-weeks-later/)
    Harley stopped accepting the bottle around 3-4 months, which meant I was the only one who could feed her. I have heard from other moms that they had success with changing bottle brands (I’m happy to let you try the ones I’ve got), but who knows with babies…
    I’ve had the same realization that my working rhythms had to change. No more travel, no more late night launches, no more weekend expos. If it was going to take longer than an hour or Harley couldn’t join, it probably wasn’t going to happen. For the most part, I’ve managed to work around it, but it’s still really hard. That said, it’s short lived – by the time Ra-Ra is a year or so old, she’ll probably be mostly (if not totally) on solids. So if you can make it to the end of the year without workshops, late meetings or travel, you’ve basically done it.
    Good luck, and I hope you know you’re doing an awesome job as her mommy.


  2. I only breastfed my last born for some weird psychological reasons. Thankfully I was home with her until she was 4 years old. She never had a single bottle and I breastfed for 2 years. I have no idea how full time working moms do it!


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