Written a week ago. I only got around to posting it today though.
Me: It would be nice to get out today. I’m on track with my deadlines, and I probably spend too much time behind my laptop.
Brain: You are becoming a bit of a lazy cow, that’s true. You’ve put on SO much weight.Me: I’ve been meaning to buy some spring flower seeds to do a bit of a project with RaRa. Teach her about gardening, basic principles of botany and so on.
Brain: Good idea. She’s getting way too much screen time because you’re always sending emails or sitting in meetings. You’re neglecting her.
Me: True. I’m thinking of going to Builders Warehouse. There are no nurseries close by, so they’re the next best thing. I’ll get bright, colourful flowers for sun and shady conditions from their gardening section.
Brain: There will be car guards and you don’t carry cash anymore. So how will you tip them?
Me: Yes, but the McDonald’s is across the way, and it’s been ages since I bought a Happy Meal. A dark part of my soul really, really wants a Happy Meal.
Brain: You’re telling people that you can’t keep helping them, and you want to waste money on a Happy Meal?
Me: The value I’d ascribe to it would be greater than the money I spend on it. It would be an experience. A treat. And RaRa would get the toy.
Brain: You’re supposed to be cutting down on driving to save on petrol. This is not a good reason to go out.
Me: But I hardly ever spend on myself. I want this.
Brain: There’s leftover macaroni cheese from last night, which is way better than anything from McDonald’s and you know it.
Me (panicking): I just want to get out. I want to get the flower seeds. I want to feel normal.
Brain: Every time you go out you risk a massive fine because your driver’s licence has expired.
Me (now spiralling): I can’t get a new one until I get my eyes tested and a new pair of glasses, and that’s going to cost a fortune and I was irresponsible because I didn’t check when my licence was due to expire and now we’re in the middle of a pandemic and getting a new one is basically impossible because I looked online to try and get a booking and the system doesn’t work.
Brain: Exactly. Going out is a bad idea.
Me (now with elevated heart rate, pacing like a caged animal): But I want to get out. I want so badly to get out.
Brain: Picture yourself driving to Sunninghill. Crossing Woodmead Drive. Is this a sensible course of action? No. Get some exercise. Stop wasting money. Stay home.
Me: You’re right. Let me find something practical to do. Tidy the house. Read my emails again. Eat macaroni.
Brain: Good girl.
discomombulated 